20-7-23
“It’s ok, I can manage,” was my habitual response when I thought the young man at the Uniqlo fitting room was asking if I needed a stool to sit on while trying on clothes. I have seen my share of sales staff being bullied by the self-entitled, so I try my best not to add on to their burden.
Furthermore, years of trying to blend in with the able bodied for fear of being considered not good enough at school and at work have made me apologetic about my handicap and to overcompensate for it.
Truth be known, at the heart of all these efforts to cope with my physical limitations to the point of ignoring them, is the deep dread of rejection & abandonment.
You know how it is. In the wild, animals, including the new borns, are left to die if they show signs of physical weakness or injury. An injured animal will also try his best to mask his pains for as long as possible to avoid evoking the predatory instincts of the others.
And so it is with humans. Be it a limp or a lisp, the fear of mockery looms, especially when you are a child, and haven’t figured out how to navigate among the normals.
Compassion & Wisdom are ofen the first casualties when resources are limited and survival hangs on a thread.
So I learnt at a very young age, not to seek special treatment if I wanted to be included.
But the Uniqlo Angel would not back off. He took one look at my leg & cane, and decided that I would need a cubicle for the disabled to try on my clothes.
Striding confidently ahead, he lifted a grey curtain to reveal a brightly lit cubicle large enough to accommodate a wheel chair, and equipped with handrails and cushioned seat for the physically challenged.
And the way he secured the curtain you would have thought he invented the cubicle himself.
“Take your time,” said the lanky youth who saw through my carefully constructed armour of lies as he looked me in the eye. ❤️😄
Lisa Ong 