Freedom Flowering

26-1-26

There’s a little shop in Chinatown that sells fashion accessories of all sorts – brooches, ear studs, chokers, belts etc.

The elderly proprietress in her traditional blouse & pants is ever ready to offer one of her accessories to add chutzpah to one’s outfit.

I’ve been buying fabric flower brooches from this shop since my mid-30s.

I’ve been buying fabric flower brooches from her since I was in my 30s. She has a way of handing you a $10 flower brooch as if it’s worth a million dollars. I always left her shop feeling I’ve found treaure!

This kitschy brown brooch is one of my favourites!

Over the years, her flower brooches have accompanied me to lessons, functions, celebrations and even overseas. Young female students had borrowed them from me as well. A friend even wore one of my flower brooches to a Harry Stiles’ concert.

Yesterday I dropped by the little shop to say hello. I thanked her for all the happy memories that her products had brought me.

At 85 years old, she was very alert & delighted to see me. Wasting no time, she held my hand affectionately, & told me to watch the slight slope at the threshold as she guided me into her shop. And just like that I bought 2 chokers from her obediently without even bargaining! 😆

When I praised her for her alacrity in service & speed in calculating prices, she laughed heartily & wished me a long life like hers. (She’s planning to close the business next year as the long hours are no longer suitable for her.)

A red flower adds chutzpah to my blue & white dress.
(9 Feb 2026)

As I age, visiting places of my youth allows me to relive certain emotions, so that I may give thanks for happy encounters & feel free to put to rest the distressing ones. 🙏🪔

For some of us, an emotional spring cleaning is as relevant as a spatial one.

Buildings of my childhood are spruced up for the Chinese New Year of the Horse. (Jan 2026)

Living in Grace

7 Feb 2026

There can never be too many flowers in my life, too much sweetness in my desserts and too many precautions to take.

Flowers & trees bloom without restraint despite their limited mobility. Being completely at the mercy of the elements & humans, they teach me acceptance & trust.

Meeting a Tree that had witnessed & survived World War 2 is a humbling experience. (Botanic Gardens Jan 2026)

They don’t need promises of glory, loyalty or permanence to show up for us. They show me grace.

Today as I was celebrating the relative ease with which I could move from car to curb, a female cyclist riding on the pavement narrowly missed me.

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans,” sings John Lennon.

And life is as fragile as that of the bouquet I’m hugging. Sometimes safety is not guaranteed no matter how careful one is.

I must therefore remember to fill the mind with gratitude & prayers, so that whatever happens to the body, may the spirit be in a state of bliss. 🙏

Protection & Wisdom of the Divine Mother.

Allow & Accept

16 Dec 2025

November & December are pensive times for me. This is because the big move from one place to another & settling in with my cats & dog happened during these times.

Accepting what’s given in the Bowl of Life with the help of Wisdom.

I had lots of anxieties over my animals’ safety because of high floor living and worries over neighbours’ reactions if they made noise. Thankfully, my fears were unfounded.

My dog passed in 2014. The last of my cats passed in 2023.

It took me a few years to discard my dog’s health supplements because his name was on the label. I had to finally accept that he was never coming back.

Only last month, I decided to let my cats’ pain meds & insulin go. Their names were also on the labels.

Oliver, the last of 12 cats to leave me.

Only last month I decided to allow the tattered sofa which had hosted many human celebrations & animal passings to leave. Its base was disintegrating.

As soon as my mind stopped clinging to what couldn’t be fixed, it became open to new possibilities. A set of furniture with dimensions suited to my needs & with aesthetics far beyond my imagination was gifted to me. 🙏

In the blessed corner where my animals sat, played & passed on is now this beautiful antique chair & red cherries.

And last night, the TV that had refused to work since 2023, was finally replaced.

Ganesha mantra to consecrate the new tv.

I was the last on the delivery man’s route and the rain had caused further delays.

Despite his fatigue, the TV installation worker asked me to relax, while he checked if the old bracket could hold the new TV. It turned out everything had to be new.

He helped me get started on google tv, and assured me that I could follow the prompts.

After taking a sip of the drinking water I offered him, the deliverer of television added, “Don’t worry. Just Allow and Accept.”

Looking back, had I allowed & accepted my limp & its ensuing struggles earlier in my youth, I might have been more articulate about them and be less anxious in my adult life.

So by the power of my unnecessary suffering, may I wish all sentient beings the discernment & trust to allow & accept when needed, so that we don’t have to live in fear & sadness. 🙏🪷😊

Swinging with Time

1 Dec 2025

Swinging gently under a beautiful tree on Penang Lane. (20 Nov 2025)

Being somewhat ritualistic about the passage of Time, I try to do something different to mark the start or beginning of a month, and other significant days.

In my working days, I used to mark the beginning of each school holiday by visiting the Kwan Imm Temple in Middle Rd with my mom, followed by shopping.

My Mom making water offering to Lord Ganesha in one of our outings.

On each payday, the first item I bought would be meatballs for my dog, Shoya.

My dog, Shoya in our old place. I used to be able to take him for long walks. He passed on in 2014 at age 15. He loved meatballs & dimsum.

For a number of Decembers past, I would ride Bus 143 with my mom from Jurong East all the way to Toa Payoh & back, just to see the Christmas Lights! 😄

Over the years I find myself becoming less critical of the designs of our festive lightings.

When I stopped benchmarking our Christmas lightings against that of other countries’ I started to notice the smiling locals, migrant workers & tourists posing under them.

Wefie below Christmas Lights along 313 Somerset Rd this year.

Towards the eves of New Year & Christmas, I would catch up with feeders of street animals I had befriended. It was my way of thanking them for doing on a daily basis what I couldn’t.

As I age & our city gets more crowded, some of the activities mentioned above require more effort & planning.

And because I no longer have the stamina to walk under the Christmas Lights from Tanglin Mall to Plaza Singapura, any corner that shines now gives me immense joy. 🙏🙂

Any corner that shines gives me immense joy.

As we welcome the final month of 2025, may we swing along with Time & accept what cannot be changed, to make way for the guidance ahead. ♥️

New Moon Reflection

20-11-25

Sweet elephant gift from India & butter lamps to welcome the New Moon.

May the observation of the New Moon assure all sentient beings that endings are also new beginnings.

15 years ago, this pendant was sold at a discount, having lost its competition among the trendier & newer trinkets in the shop.

Recently, this “casualty” of a merchant’s stock clearing exercise was chosen to accompany a person on an important trip to India.

As a result, this humble pendant of inexpensive stones became a witness to many priceless acts of spirituality & charity as it sits close to the wearer’s heart.

Like this pendant, we may lose favour as circumstances change, or even be discarded as the world hurries on. However, if our essential nature is one of stability & kindness, we cannot be defeated. 😊

A blessed new moon to all sentient beings.

The humble pendant of inexpensive white jade & adventurine also brought me these sandalwood gifts from India.

Blessed Rain

13-11-25

Yesterday the drizzle turned into a downpour as I stood below the awning of OG Albert Complex to wait for my brother.

He had gone to Fu Lu Shou Complex to pick up my favourite incense. To reach any of the shops in it, there were a number of steps to climb.

By the time we were ready to head home, the cab fare had spiked.

While waiting for the fare to drop we decided to have our evening meal at Albert Food Centre.

My brother spoke enthusiastically of the stalls he had patronised. After hearing his heartfelt praise of the 嘛坡卤面 (Muar braised noodle) I lost all interest in the other food options. 😊

He found us a table & scurried off for the dish which by now had reached legendary status in my imagination.

A while later and under the harsh fluorescent lighting of the bustling food centre, an aged younger brother carried a bowl of noodles & walked carefully towards his crippled older sister, just like he used to when they were kids.

The Rain might have caused delays & fare hikes, but it has quenched the thirst of animals & plants, and given 2 siblings an uninterrupted catchup.

On our way home, we even stopped by a makeshift shrine outside Bencoolen Centre to give Ganesha a bath!

Facing our Mountain

10-11-25

“You were not born to be perfect.

You were not born to be happy all of the time.

But if you commit yourself each day to doing the work of being fully human and feeling even when you are afraid, you can transcend in a way that is truly beautiful.” – “The Mountain is You,” by Brianna Wiest.

I think when we allow ourselves to be sad over the inevitables, and give thanks for what used to be, we can find some sort of peace with the present.

Grace Across Time & Space.

10-10-25

A loose screw that causes great distress.

Two days ago a screw from my brace (Knee-Ankle-Foot Orthotics) came loose. I didn’t realise it till the metal bars came apart & grazed my skin.

I panicked. Without the brace, walking is painful. I panicked because my brace was customised overseas. The company that handled my case has since changed hands. Any replacement parts if they still exist will take time to source & order.

Meanwhile, a trip downstairs to retrace my steps & see if I could locate the lost screw was urgently needed.

But I couldn’t do so with a broken brace.

In my anxiety, a memory from years ago of an unkempt but cheerful man outside the Ganesh temple along Keong Siak Road floated up in my mind like a movie.

Sri Layan Sithi Vinayagar Temple. (Keong Siak Rd, Singapore)

Even though the man didn’t look like he was all there, he had the sense to hold up his oversized pants by passing a rafia string through the belt loops around his waist.

Palms together, the homeless looking person would greet just about anyone passing by or entering the temple dedicated to Ganesh, the elephant-headed deity of Wisdom & Resourcefulness.

Inspired by the memory of his resourcefulness, I lost my fear. As calm descended, a space in me opened up to see if cable ties could hold up my brace.

And the ties worked!

With my brace secured by these plastic wonders, I painlessly & confidently sallied forth & found the missing screw lying on the walkway down my block.

I now have 2 pieces of cable ties in my wallet, just in case. And it humbles me deeply to see that a vagabond is also a channel of divine guidance. 🙏

The memory of the vagabond’s resourcefulness led me to these plastic miracles.

Once Ganesh encountered a snake about to strike him. He picked it up & turned the snake into a belt by tying it around his waist, turning an adversary into an accessory. 😄

Thankful Thursday: To Blend or To Trend?

14-8-25

Putting my best foot forward for my first ever black & white photograph in my adult life by Mr Do Huu Phuoc.

To wish for what one cannot change or become is suffering indeed.

In my youth, I admired my peers for being able to prance about in their heels and slingbacks, and spin gracefully on their ankles to express joy.

In my youth I often placed my legs one against the other hoping they would look more normal. (June 2000, Beijing, China)

These were devices of discomfort and shame for a young girl who badly wanted to look and walk like normal people.

So instead of being grateful for the grounding support of my metal brace & laced up boots, I resented them for being constant reminders of my physical impairment.

As soon as I stopped fighting the brace at 60, the burden of hiding my deformity since I was 7 lifted .

Thankfully in the past couple of years, a series of pain episodes have shown me “resistance is futile,” especially at my age.

So early this year at the physiotherapist’s office, I cuddled & prayed over the plaster mold of my leg she made before sending it out to the brace maker.

Blessing my mold before it was sent to the brace maker in USA.

I even apologised to the likes of the boots I rejected in my youth. In my desperate attempts to blend, I was blind to the possibility of starting what could have been a trend.

Last month at Red Wing, as the lace of my boots tightened, and the leather sides aligned to meet my ankle, I felt a shift from dread to peace.

It was like coming home to myself. No more wishing to be someone else, no more apologising for my limp & no more fear of rejection.

As I thought about how wonderful it would be if someone could capture my moment of acceptance, a photographer happened to drop by.

I wish for someone to document my acceptance moment & a photographer decided to drop by the shoe shop I was in. 🙏

Even though he felt the lighting was not ideal for the photograph he had in mind, he would still like to take some pictures to help me remember.

Mr Do Huu Phuoc did not ask me to lose my cane or stand in a particular way. He photographed me when I was feeling my best.

I gladly accepted his offer. And this time for my first black & white shot of my adult life & for the first time in my whole life, I made zero effort to hide my leg, but happily put my best foot forward. 😄

A Father’s Influence 4-8-25

My Dad would have been 87 today.

In his lifetime he took on all sorts of work to make ends meet. He welded, sold coconut juice, ran stalls , picked fruits, and traded in discarded items. No job was too lowly for the man on his trusty Vespa.

Being of limited education he had to endure all kinds of job instability. Not wanting to cause alarm or appear incapable, he kept his hardship to himself.

My Dad in his youth wearing a borrowed uniform. When he was still a baby, his Dad passed away. Perhaps donning a uniform was my Dad’s subconscious aspiration for some kind of security in his growing up years.

There was even once he spent days on the beach during working hours so that we wouldn’t know he had lost his job.

Growing up, my dad’s explosive rage & harsh words hurt me. Yet he was also the one who modelled sustained silent reading, and piqued my interest in national geographic, movies, art, music & non-chinese foods.

This man who chain smoked to the detriment of his own lungs also picked herbs and killed & cooked wildgame to feed me in hope of restoring my leg.

One day I gathered the courage to tell him I didn’t mind limping so he didn’t have to kill anything anymore. That was the end of my dad’s dabbling with innocent lives to mend mine.

My dad would have been 87 years old today. And as I age, I draw strength from his willingness to accept all things, so that nothing can cause us to lose our footing. 🪷🙏

My Dad always smiles for the camera. In all my dreams my Dad is always smiling. I hope wherever he is, he lacks nothing.