22 January 2024
As a part time library assistant in my student days, I met two senior ladies from the management who left lasting impressions on me.
Both of them held positions of authority. Both had education, culture and wealth.
The First Senior Lady did not suffer fools and had a way with words if you did not meet her standards. The perpetual scowl on her face even when she was not upset contrasted dramatically with her coiffured hair & her well made clothes.
The Second Senior Lady got things done by explaining & correcting. With her blazer drapped over her shoulders, and in a soft voice, she would show how things should & could have been. Her thinning hair did not make her look aged, but instead gave her a look of impish innocence. She seemed to shed gold dust when she worked with us. Each time she pointed out our errors she left us feeling wanting to do better.
Years later, I would run into Second Senior Lady in Esplanade Theatre lobby. When I greeted her, she still shone like a chandelier even though she was in an ordinary dress.
The Japanese have a practice of summing up a year in one word. If I had to use one word to describe my experience of Second Senior Lady, the word would be “Gold.” For First Senior Lady, “Crushed,” came to mind.
I wonder what word would define me as I’m also a senior lady myself now.
I think often of Second Senior Lady. Recently I found her presence in Queen Margarette II of Denmark as she announced her abdication.
Beyond diet & lifestyle, ageing well is also about watching one’s mind & behaviour.
As our looks fade, and strength wanes, our thoughts, speech and manners gain prominence.
When we have a habit of thinking ill of others or we’re above them, we may develop a habitual sneer. So it’s good to watch our mind & refine our thoughts instead of assuming we’re right just because we have lived longer.
And a voice that carries complaints & unreasonable demands grates on the nerves of people around us. So watching our mouth to avoid causing harm & be totally ignored later on is a priority too.
Finally like Queen Magarette II, who had the wisdom to abdicate her authority when she still could, senior ladies must also learn that whether we like it or not, a time when we can no longer take centre stage will come. This means accepting the loss of attention from others & becoming more at ease with what doesn’t please us. And maybe then we have the chance to turn gold. 😊
Lisa Ong 