11-7-24
Between the ages of 7 & 15, a big portion of my dad’s pay went to getting my surgical shoes & aluminium calipers.
Money was tight, but not once did he complain about how I was depleting resources.
When it was time to be in school & mix with clean limbed kids, my dad reminded me that because I walked differently from them, I would never be able to match their speed. Therefore I had to accept my slowness & not compare myself with others.
He was a pragmatic parent who knew kids at that age crave to belong. Recess time games could be cruel on a child with limited mobility.
When I got older, he also specified that I had to earn my keep by developing real skills & not expect others to foot my bills. I guess it was his clumsy way of telling me not to expect a man to take care of me.
Although I didn’t like what my dad said at that time, his words have kept me from a lifetime of feeling sorry for myself.
Although I couldn’t run around like my friends, I became a keen observor of body language by watching their playground antics, triumphs & defeats.
Although I can’t keep pace with many activities these days, there is no panic.
My dad might have known early on that regardless of what he could give me, I still had to face the world by myself & walk my own path.
So he taught me acceptance, which is the beginning to tenderness & freedom from attributing blame or seeking compensation.
Lisa Ong 