14-8-25
To wish for what one cannot change or become is suffering indeed.
In my youth, I admired my peers for being able to prance about in their heels and slingbacks, and spin gracefully on their ankles to express joy.
So instead of being grateful for the grounding support of my metal brace & laced up boots, I resented them for being constant reminders of my physical impairment.
Thankfully in the past couple of years, a series of pain episodes have shown me “resistance is futile,” especially at my age.
So early this year at the physiotherapist’s office, I cuddled & prayed over the plaster mold of my leg she made before sending it out to the brace maker.
I even apologised to the likes of the boots I rejected in my youth. In my desperate attempts to blend, I was blind to the possibility of starting what could have been a trend.
Last month at Red Wing, as the lace of my boots tightened, and the leather sides aligned to meet my ankle, I felt a shift from dread to peace.
It was like coming home to myself. No more wishing to be someone else, no more apologising for my limp & no more fear of rejection.
As I thought about how wonderful it would be if someone could capture my moment of acceptance, a photographer happened to drop by.
Even though he felt the lighting was not ideal for the photograph he had in mind, he would still like to take some pictures to help me remember.
I gladly accepted his offer. And this time for my first black & white shot of my adult life & for the first time in my whole life, I made zero effort to hide my leg, but happily put my best foot forward. 😄
Lisa Ong 