The Goddess at Orchid Gardens

16-6-2021

“You walk very well,” the lady on the motorised scooter addressed me heartily when I greeted her.

We were on our way out of the orchid gardens when we met. From a distance she looked like a pink blob.

But upclose, she was fully coordinated spotting a face mask and comfortable cotton frock of bandung pink while her thick silvery hair was held in a neat bun by a pair of pink tiger lilies clasp. A circular brooch of antique gold resembling a Flower of Life caught the morning sun and sparkled attractively atop her shoulder.

I felt like hugging her. But in the current climate I wasn’t sure how my gesture would be perceived.

“Thank you! You look amazing!” I said to her, hoping she could pick up the sincerity in my voice.

Earlier on in the pavilion, a soft breeze had risen as I offered the bottled coconut juice which was given to me to the Sky and Earth first before I took my sip. (I saw this practice in a mongolian documentary)

As the pink vision receded steadily from my view under the wide open sky, I had the feeling that I did not just compliment a handicapped lady, but a goddess on her chariot making the rounds in her gardens.
❤️😊

Mandala of Rose Quartz & Candy Drops for New Moon

10 June 2021

May the new moon’s appearance evoke early memories of love and sweetness in all human and animal beings.

The fox represents all beings that are vilified because of our lack of wisdom & compassion. She is protected by a ring of rose quartz hearts that heals all traumas and candies of my childhood bought for by my maternal grandma at every chance she had despite having little money.

May Love neutralise past traumas that are unconsciously carried forth to present life.

May every little drop of sweetness ever experienced be amplified today to heal all hurts and embrace all fears.

Territorial Instincts

9 June 2021

Despite being only the size of a cushion, and weighing less than 6kg, Emmanuel growls menacingly when Ollie tries to cosy up on the couch he’s on.

Emmanuel, the cushion sized cat with a loud voice and a ready bite.

Different locations, same bickering over who occupies where.

In return, Oliver sneaks up at night on Emmanuel ensconced on the cane chair, and scares the wits out of him.

Both cats are loved, have free run of my home and access to food and clean water 24/7.

Once in a while they grudgingly share space.

Furthermore they are also somewhat related, having been born on the grounds of a girls’ school I was teaching in some 14 years ago.

Yet they bicker constantly about who occupies where as much as they can only bodily be in one location at a time.

Perhaps this fear of losing out & needing to own more than what one needs is hardwired into the survival instincts of all living beings.

Oliver posing with a literary magazine from Kinmen Island, a political pawn used by warring parties since the Ming Dynasty. My grandmother was born there in 1914.

Unlike cats, we humans have the advantage of analysis, and perhaps even tame some of our natural inclinations for power and control, and be free from fear and possessiveness to some degree.

When Less Becomes More

6-6-2021

As these days we can’t travel on a whim, the things I bought on my trips to Nepal and Kinmen Island in the past have taken on a relic-like significance.

War Hero edition of Kinmen Sorghum Liquor.

In 2019, I visited Kinmen Island, the birthplace of my ancestors for the first time. Kinmen sorghum liquor is well known among wine aficionados. Revenue from its sale world wide plays a huge part in education funding for the island’s children from nursery to university.

The little island between mainland China and Taiwan even has its own ceramic factory dedicated to the creation of sorghum wine receptacles to mark historical and social events.

When I bought these two bottles of sorghum wine during my trips in 2019, I had no idea a pandemic was also brewing.

I got them mainly because the wine came from grains that were grown, harvested and fermented on an island that my grandmother was born, left and pined for all her life. And of course the little glasses that the islanders took their celebrated elixir in had to come home with me!

I love drinking with little glasses and cups. Firstly, they are very very cute. Secondly, they pace my alcohol intake so I can relax without becoming intoxicated. The thimble sized holders of Kinmen Sorghum encourages me to sip and savour, instead of gulp and guzzle.

When I take a sip of this “rocket fuel,” as the liquor is fondly known for its high alcohol content, the sweetness of fermented sorghum caresses my tongue and perfumes my mouth, while heat sashays up my nose, dances my brows and warms my ears.

I don’t know when we’ll be able to visit my grandmother’s beloved birthplace again. So for now I shall drink the precious remaining liquor mindfully, and make every sip count.

A lunch of Vietnamese spring rolls, papaya salad and noodles is augmented by Kinmen liquor.

And through mindful consumption and usage of resources like in the days of our forefathers, may we turn the little that we’ve got to lots, so that we may win the war against the pandemic.

Through Animal Eyes

3 June 2021

Day after day, Emmanuel the Cat lives the new dawn by the way he looks at the sky as if he’s seeing it for the first time.

His trancelike attention to light descending upon creation to the music of birdsongs shows a timeless appreciation for new beginnings even as he is aging.

A Flowering From Within

1 June 2021

The elderly man had been taking drink orders from table to table.

When he came to me I asked for kopi-o, meaning black coffee with added sugar.

Perhaps there were too many orders to hold in his mind so he asked me again. He repeated my order after me like a child willing himself to memorise the multiplication table without understanding.

Sensing his slight panic as he struggled mentally to collate his orders, I casually said, “Don’t worry, uncle. Just bring me what you can remember. I’ll drink it even if it’s the wrong one.”

Upon my words, a look of relief unfolded across his face like a flower blooming.

The peace radiating from his shrunken frame was quite unmistakable. Till this day I can recall that peace at will.

Every encounter is an opportunity to learn to be at ease.

When I rid the elderly coffee shop worker of his anxiety, I also released me from the fixation of having my order obeyed in certain ways.

So I learnt that when we allow others to breathe, we can also breathe.❤️

Vesak Day Full Moon Mandala Dedication

26 May 2021

One of the first gifts from my dad when I was a kid were 39 tiny conch shells.

In my late 40s I would learn that the couch plays a very important role in Hindu and Buddhist practices.

When a conch is blown, it makes an OM sound, believed to be the primal sound of creation, and from which other sounds emanate.

The drapes and folds on the saffron robe of this young Thai monk call to mind the twirls & swirls on the conch.

Of late I keep seeing similarities between the curvature of the conch and the fluidity of the drapes on the robes of Buddhist monks and nuns.

So I started reading up on the robes that had been on my mind for sometime.

At Boudha I was always entralled by the waves of maroon robes on monks & nuns as they circumambulated the Stupa.

But only today I learnt that in Buddha’s time, the robes were made from discarded rags found among trash. Monks would pick up rags, wash and dye them before stitching the pieces together to form a robe.

In “Buddha’s Robe” written 26 years ago, Noelle Oxenhandler says, “…the robe made from a discarded rag is the lotus that grows in mud.” ♥️

May tonight’s full moon on Buddha’s Enlightenment Day guide our mind to see the fullness within each being, so that we too may learn to turn the worthless to the priceless.🙏

Finding Our Path

26 May 2021 (Vesak Day)

This is the main entrance to the Boudha Stupa. Yesterday my friends at Street Dog Care posted this picture. Road repair works have begun.

Since 2011, I’ve stood at this entrance to the Boudha Stupa 8 times. I’m so grateful to have visited Nepal at every chance I could before this pandemic.

I’ve stood at this entrance 8 times in my life.

Each time when I looked at the Stupa for the first time, I would feel tears welling at my heart and making their way up my eyes.

At the same time in the midst of the surrounding chaotic traffic & commercial activities, I would also experience a profound quiet that was unshakeable.

“You saw your mind,” my Taiwanese friend who lives at Boudha told me when I narrated my encounter to her.

She went on to elaborate that when the mind is unfettered by judgements or desires, it is clear and free.

So perhaps I had tears in my eyes because at the Stupa entrance I caught a glimpse of how my mind could have been were it not shackled onto fixed patterns of ignorance & pride.

My first stupa dog, Sam, on a full moon evening before the lockdown.

These days I think I learn to suffer less because I try to watch my mind before thoughts become words and deeds.

While the well trodden path to Boudha Stupa is being repaired on this auspicious day of enlightenment, may I take this opportunity to wish my friends and all sentient beings divine guidance as they forge their own paths to liberation. 🌈🙏🐾

Freedom Speech

24 May 2021 (2 days to Vesak Day)

The conch produces the sound OM”, believed to be the sound of creation and from which all sounds emanated.

One day the subject of half-siblings and step-siblings came up towards the end of English lesson.

As I wrote down the words’ definitions and the circumstances that gave rise to them on the white board, some students looked really interested.

Even when the bell had sounded for the 14-year-olds to leave my class, a handful took their time to pack their bags and lingered on.

I have been very fortunate to witness such purity of intent among children many times. They give me strength to face the truth.

“Teacher, I have a half-sister,”
“I have step brothers,”
“My father remarried,”
“My mom don’t allow me to see my dad,” and so on came tumbling out of the kids’ mouths as they gathered at my desk in the morning hush.

I was momentarily stunned. For right there in the safety of my homeroom, it felt like some dead weights were being lifted off young shoulders as each kid revealed what they were not supposed to talk about in public.

One boy whose mom left their family when he was in primary school looked almost teary when I taught him the words to say without having to lie about his mom’s absence at school functions. I could tell lying was destroying his young soul.

Words create realities.

I think the kids that day left the room with new words and new found camaraderie to face the new normal brought about by changes in family dynamics.

We do children a great disservice when we project our adult disappointments with life on them, and by denying them a voice we trap them further in our web of lies.

May we have the courage to face our truth so that others can live freely.

Release

20 May 2021

Yesterday at the animal shelter, an elderly Persian cat started purring loudly and turning her forehead to meet mine each time I managed to snip off a knot of matted fur that had twirled and tightened around her like barnacles growing on whales.

I hope Divina will still be around in my next visit. I hope to give her a bath and dry her properly.

Shelter trips are sobering reminders of abandonment, broken promises and vulnerabilities.

Shelter people are stretched to their limits to compensate the animals for the suffering in the hands of fellow humans.

This morning I came across a picture of a doctor holding a patient to comfort him. I thought of my encounter with the ageing Persian whom I had named Divina.

Different species, same loneliness.

Different contexts, same gestures.

Different professions, similar offerings.

At the risk of sounding melodramatic, cutting off the knots for the shelter cat felt akin to making a liberation gesture for me.

For some time as I leant against the plastic shelf with Divina purring loudly, I had an idea of the elation divers must have felt when they cut off fishing lines that have trapped marine lives.

Divina leaning towards me each time I snipped off a knot of matted fur from her body.

And today I learnt that some communities celebrated the birth of Buddha yesterday.

May we be free to offer relief to others with all the skillsets we have and in whatever situations we come across. 🌈🙏🐾