Allow & Accept

16 Dec 2025

November & December are pensive times for me. This is because the big move from one place to another & settling in with my cats & dog happened during these times.

Accepting what’s given in the Bowl of Life with the help of Wisdom.

I had lots of anxieties over my animals’ safety because of high floor living and worries over neighbours’ reactions if they made noise. Thankfully, my fears were unfounded.

My dog passed in 2014. The last of my cats passed in 2023.

It took me a few years to discard my dog’s health supplements because his name was on the label. I had to finally accept that he was never coming back.

Only last month, I decided to let my cats’ pain meds & insulin go. Their names were also on the labels.

Oliver, the last of 12 cats to leave me.

Only last month I decided to allow the tattered sofa which had hosted many human celebrations & animal passings to leave. Its base was disintegrating.

As soon as my mind stopped clinging to what couldn’t be fixed, it became open to new possibilities. A set of furniture with dimensions suited to my needs & with aesthetics far beyond my imagination was gifted to me. 🙏

In the blessed corner where my animals sat, played & passed on is now this beautiful antique chair & red cherries.

And last night, the TV that had refused to work since 2023, was finally replaced.

Ganesha mantra to consecrate the new tv.

I was the last on the delivery man’s route and the rain had caused further delays.

Despite his fatigue, the TV installation worker asked me to relax, while he checked if the old bracket could hold the new TV. It turned out everything had to be new.

He helped me get started on google tv, and assured me that I could follow the prompts.

After taking a sip of the drinking water I offered him, the deliverer of television added, “Don’t worry. Just Allow and Accept.”

Looking back, had I allowed & accepted my limp & its ensuing struggles earlier in my youth, I might have been more articulate about them and be less anxious in my adult life.

So by the power of my unnecessary suffering, may I wish all sentient beings the discernment & trust to allow & accept when needed, so that we don’t have to live in fear & sadness. 🙏🪷😊

Blessed Rain

13-11-25

Yesterday the drizzle turned into a downpour as I stood below the awning of OG Albert Complex to wait for my brother.

He had gone to Fu Lu Shou Complex to pick up my favourite incense. To reach any of the shops in it, there were a number of steps to climb.

By the time we were ready to head home, the cab fare had spiked.

While waiting for the fare to drop we decided to have our evening meal at Albert Food Centre.

My brother spoke enthusiastically of the stalls he had patronised. After hearing his heartfelt praise of the 嘛坡卤面 (Muar braised noodle) I lost all interest in the other food options. 😊

He found us a table & scurried off for the dish which by now had reached legendary status in my imagination.

A while later and under the harsh fluorescent lighting of the bustling food centre, an aged younger brother carried a bowl of noodles & walked carefully towards his crippled older sister, just like he used to when they were kids.

The Rain might have caused delays & fare hikes, but it has quenched the thirst of animals & plants, and given 2 siblings an uninterrupted catchup.

On our way home, we even stopped by a makeshift shrine outside Bencoolen Centre to give Ganesha a bath!

First June (Vesak Day Eve)

1-6-23

This unexpected gift of a crystal singing bowl will be sounded for the first time on Vesak Day tomorrow.

The rain today is a welcome respite from the scorching heat that had weakened my resolve to walk to the nearby shops to get flowers and snacks for this Vesak Day weekend. 😄

A gentle breeze in the on off drizzle this morning gave me the courage to sally forth.

The breeze this morning, the soft sun light and the on off drizzle gave me the courage to venture out to get flowers for the gods and snacks for my friends.

It’s the first day of June, make it memorable. Don’t waste the beautiful weather. So I asked my brother to join me for a meal.

In the spacious heartland coffee shop, two grey haired siblings had an ordinary but hearty meal, like they used to in their primary school days.

After that we stopped by the young hindu florist to pick up fresh jasmine garlands, and flowers for the gods. And for the humans visiting my home tomorrow, I got them cakes and pineapple tarts from the happy muslim baker. ❤️

Narrow Paths, Wide Hearts

3-4-23

The path may be narrow, but our heart can be wide. Rain forces pedestrians to take the 5 foot way skimming the shophouses at East Coast Road.

As I was waiting for the rain to stop, a man was trying to restrain their dog from entering the Harvest Bowl Salad cafe where his wife had gone to buy their takeaway dinners.

Their dog, being larger than the usual street dogs, was a challenge to contain. And the rain had forced passers by directly onto the path of the duo. Most people looked at man with dog kindly, but a few gave disapproving looks as if to say, “Dunno how to control your dog, why take him out?”

I would learn later that this was the first time the nervous dog had been in a rainy and crowded setting.

The man appeared apologetic for blocking the path. He was also looking increasingly stressed by the constant stream of people brushing past them.

“What a lovely dog you have!” I called out to the man. It was an attempt to break the spell of unease. It worked. He smiled. The dog also stopped rearing up & charging at the cafe entrance.

Then I suggested that he led his dog away from the cafe and to my side to limit the canine’s range of vision & thus reduce his fixation on the other human caregiver. (Thank you NatGeo & Caesar Milan)

So under the drumming rain in the sheltered walkway, we chatted about animal rescue work. The dog whose head reached my waist, started sniffing the air and looking at the passing street cars like a curious child.

The man & his wife had been feeding stray dogs in forested areas. It was where they found their dog and his litter mates.

Finally the man’s wife appeared with their long awaited dinner. Their dog pranced in delirious joy to see that his family was complete again!

Before we parted, the wife who preferred the company of animals to humans, asked me gently if I had an umbrella and how I was going to get home.

Looking back, wherever there is kindness, we’re home. So that come rain or shine, separation or union, we will always belong. And even if the path is narrow, our heart can be wide. 🙏

Pilgrims circumabulate the Boudha Stupa alongside dogs who have made the UNESCO World Heritage site home.

Contemplative Tuesday

28-3-23

Late lunch on a rainy afternoon at Spize yesterday.

Yesterday it rained nearly all day.

Rain would pour in through the kitchen window of our first flat in Prince Charles Square during the 70’s.

The plastic sheets hastily attached to the window grille with clothes pegs were useless against the slashing rain.

After the rain came the mopping. I resented living in a flat that leaked, ignorant of the fact that all the flats in that low SES neighbourhood of ours were subjected to the elements.

I guessed I wouldn’t have felt so ashamed of our living conditions had it not been for that one time when my well meaning school teacher and her husband decided to pay our home a visit.

I had managed to put off her attempts to visit my home a few times. And guess what I was doing on their surprise visit? Yes, mopping the floor!

But this time it included mopping up milk which my then baby brother had spilled when his milk bottle came crashing down.

My young teacher and her handsome husband stood in awkward silence as I picked up the glass shards and went about clearing the mess.

Looking back the rain that day had washed away my pride, and the broken milk bottle had shattered whatever illusions of economic wellness I was trying to project.

I think after that, my teacher learnt to respect her students’ boundaries. I learnt to tell the truth if I disagree with or lack anything, so that I don’t have to make up excuses.

Connecting with Earth & Sky

22 Sep 2022

https://www.nationalgallery.sg/sites/default/files/NG-Ever-Present-04.jpg

According to aboriginal artist, Michael Riley, the feather suggests a spiritual connection between the earth & the sky.

This weekend if you’re looking for a chance to ground so that you can reach the sky, please consider dropping by the National Gallery for “Ever Present: First Peoples Art of Australia,” exhibition, ending in 3 days’ time.

I rarely rave about art because firstly I’m not trained, and secondly I lack the words to do justice to works that speak to our subconscious.

But the experience at this exhibition that I visited a few weeks’ back keeps coming back to me. It was my first time consciously seeing pigments made from earth and minerals painted on barks of eucalyptus. I inhaled the paintings as it were, even as I stood & stared at the mesmerising dots, crosses, and tiny strokes that appeared so childlike and so sublime at the same time.

The embroidery by the Lanna tribe of Chiangmai resembles the Aboriginal artwork behind me in colour choices & order.

I was entranced by the Rainbow Serpent which I only read about in books rendered in floor to ceiling dimension at the exhibition. It was swimming energetically before our eyes even as it appeared to be still.

Seeing the Rainbow Serpent that I read about in books in this dimension with El is another special memory that will abide with me for a long time.

I regretted not taking a picture of the aboriginal dancer drawn in white pigment against black background. His calves were strong & elegant. And I could see the energy emanating from his stomping legs & turning torso while he held a spear and and a shield.

In these turbulent times I hope this exhibition will go to many places and bless lots of people with its ancestral wisdom and life affirming power.

Seeing pigments made from earth & minerals painted on eucalyptus barks for the first time in my life turns this gallery space into a shrine.

A Heritage of Peace

3-5-22

This morning, decked in traditional finery that spoke of ethnic pride & brimming with benedictions fresh from morning prayers, First Tutee touched the back of my hand with his forehead to wish me peace.

First Tutee is now taller than me. I’ve known him before he entered Primary One.

For the past few years, my home has been his first place of visit after prayers at the mosque on Hari Raya mornings.

A little boy and his cat friend on Hari Raya morning a a few years back.

This year he brought a friend with him. He wanted to show him how to interact with Oliver the Cat.

First Tutee supervising his friend’s first contact with a cat.

First Tutee explained to his little friend how he used to be scared of cats before he met Oliver.

He then taught him how to sit still while waiting for the cat to approach, and how to offer food respectfully to the animal.

Showing his little friend how to approach a cat & feed him respectfully.

“Don’t touch him when he’s trying to eat cos it makes him nervous,” said the older boy to the younger one.

While they were sitting by the window, First Tutee pointed out the direction of Batam, Indonesia, to his fascinated guest. He also told him the body of water he saw was called a reservoire, not a swimming pool.

Two Muslim boys looking out of the window at the world while the prayer flags flutter above them.

Although First Tutee and I are not related by blood, and these days we don’t see each other much, he seems to have taken after me in the way he explains things. And now & then when he spots a full moon, he’ll send me a picture of it.

While we make material provisions for our children, showing them how to live peacefully with all despite our differences could give them the wisdom & compassion to journey further & do better under all circumstances in life.

“Unity doesn’t have to mean uniformity” – Palki Sharma, news anchor of WION.

Centering

29 March 2022

Last week, one of my cats, Emmanuel, was admitted for diabetes. His conditions have since stabilised and will be discharged soon.

Waiting for the vet to see Emmanuel last Thursday. It had been a tense week.

Since March last year, Emmanuel & Oliver have been waking me up at all kinds of hours through their daily territorial disputes.

Sleep deprived & anxiety-ridden, I wandered the mall last Friday in hope of getting a new cat carrier for Emmanuel’s follow up vet trips as the current one has rusted and is being held together by cable ties.

Emmanuel is 15. Oliver is 16. Both cats are as healthy as can be given their age. But realistic as I am, signs of ill health trigger memories of the suffering of my 10 cats and 1 dog before they passed on over the years. And in Emmanuel’s case, concerns over if I can administer the twice daily insulin jabs occupied my mind.

In the midst of meditating on syringes, the image of the world’s largest mandala, the Boudha Stupa came to me. I was gently reminded to unfetter my mind by accepting all things.

World Mandala of Peace, Boudha Stupa during pavement repairment work in 2019.

And as I was about to pick up the new cat carrier & head home, a friend texted to ask if we could meet up for tea.

Tea? How could I have time for tea? Don’t you know I’m in the midst of a meltdown? But I resisted my self-centered habitual responses and said “Yes” to tea. And yes, worrying is so dangerously seductive. It gives a false impression of feeling responsible even as it keeps the worrier fixated & drained.

During tea, my friend found out that his evening appointment had been postponed. Since I had no plans except to worry, I accepted his invitation to see the art space he had set up to pursue his pottery passions.

Still thinking of syringes, I was content to just watch my friend at the studio throwing a pot on his newly acquired potter’s wheel.

But he being generous, insisted that I gave the clay a go. He would help me touch up the final product if needed.

And so on Friday evening, while my cat received intravenous fluid at the clinic, I sat at the potter’s wheel in my friend’s studio to connect with the silkiness of wet clay and the coolness of water as I attempted to throw a pot for the first time in 36 years.

As I leaned my elbows on the basin for added stability as taught by my friend, and held the lump of clay firmly in both hands, my breath returned. A centering peace soon emerged from the spinning mandala of a potter’s wheel. It seeped into my fingers, travelled up my arms, touched my shoulder & ascended my head through my neck.

And in that moment, my mind was still even as everything before me was in motion. Sitting at my friend’s potter’s wheel was the break I needed to be unhinged from the cycle of constant worrying & feeling of inadequacy.

I wish all who are reading this post timely inspiration from the Divine and supervision of wise friends in your hour of need.🙏

Blessed Scarcity

29 Dec 2021

Today I offered the last spoonful of the incense powder purchased at Boudha in 2017. This concoction of herbal wonder was unceremoniously scooped and dropped into a plastic bag for a few rupees.

The last spoonful of juniper incense bought from Boudha in 2017.

Having limited mobility & lacking confidence in my online shopping capabilities have strengthened my appreciation of resources. I learn to use every thing sparingly regardless of its price or how it comes to me. For me a bottle of soya sauce from the local supermarket has the same status as a bottle of truffle oil from a specialised store. Both are precious.

Boudha Stupa on the full moon day of Dec 2017. I took this picture without making any special effort and it turned out so beautiful. Each time I look at it I feel Buddha smiling at me.

Today’s incense from Nepal is the last of its lot that I personally bought.

Despite its age, it seems to have gained potency as its wafting fragrance triggers many pleasant thoughts & memories.

As I watched Fire transform the juniper into healing aromas through the dancing smoke, I sent wishes of goodwill to all sentient beings. Among which was just as we aspire to abundance, may we also be able to accept scarcity for its hidden blessings.

Incense from a little shop facing the Boudha Stupa. I gave some away and kept a couple of packets for my own use. Yesterday was the last spoonful from this lot bought in 2017.

Blessed Ganesh Chaturthi

10 Sep 2021

I just learnt that today is the start of *Ganesh Chaturthi.

My first eye to eye contact with the elephant headed deity was in Nepal in 2011.

Ganesh Shrine at Park Village Resort within the Shivapuri National Park, Budanilkantha, Nepal.

Now, 10 years later, the symbol of resourcefulness and wisdom continues to inspire me to take things as they come without fear or resentment so that I may see clearly and dance lightly through all obstacles.

And while wondering how I could mark the occasion without leaving home, a dancing Ganesh pendant from my brother given a year ago and a recent hand drawn sunflower from a student combined to fulfil my intention.

Dancing Ganesh pandent given by my brother last year sits on a sunflower mandala drawn by a young student this September.

Here’s wishing all friends, family & strangers the blessings of Wisdom & Resourcefulness to meet challenges with ease like my favourite Hindu deity.

Om Gam Ganapateya Namaha! 🙏

*Ganesh Chaturthi marks the anniversary of his arrival from Mount Kailash.