Always Loved

26-1-23

The Sun is Up!

And Bella has gone home to God.
Even though we’re sad to lose him, we’ll not let fear or hate win.

Given the threats of animal predators and manmade errors that community cats face daily, Bella’s 16 years on earth is a miracle.

When he was a kitten with gender still unknown, the Canadian swim team named him Bella.

The student athletes whispered their secrets to him.

Bella always listens without judgement. (Photo credit: Koh Aik Beng)

Local & international coaches & staff fed him or asked about him.

Bella is grateful for kibbles & canned food.

Visitors and parents took pictures of him, and sometimes with him (far away in the background).

Overseas athletes saved up their allowance to buy him treats.

Adults helped out with his veterinary needs.

Bella chilling out with his brother, Topaz by the window of the laundry room.

Despite having a low tolerance for touch, and a high need for distance, Bella has succeeded in bringing many people & nationalities together. He has taught us to be generous with our heart, our money, and our time. And love doesn’t mean ownership.

Bella enjoying scritches from Coach Shahrin in a recent picture. The silent company of cats invites us to pause & breathe.

Rest well, Bella Boy. Even though your entry into & exit from this world were not ideal, in between you were loved by many, and now multi-faith prayers from Singapore to Cambodia, and beyond Asia to the West are being dedicated to you. 🙏❤️

Till we meet again, you live in our hearts.

Spring’s here!

22-1-23 (First Day of Lunar New Year)

Lunar New Year begins not at a countdown concert, but a trip to the temple of my childhood for me.

The pouring rain this year did not dampen our spirit one bit. We just learn to adjust expectations and accommodate one another’s transport challenges.

Starting the Year of the Rabbit with aromatic smoke offerings that carry our aspirations and the fragrance from this beautiful tree.

Year after year I return to this place to start my year. The temple door guardians are ever so welcoming, and figurines of deities feel like old friends. Being aware that one day all these may not be accessible to me for various reasons makes the yearly meet ups all the more precious.

The incense aroma strengthens my spirit even as my body ages. And the sight of fire and lighted lanterns energises my mind even as my hair loses its colour.

My lovely cousin, Michelle, faithfully records our gatherings year after year. She is also an admirer of batik.

Towards evening when the rain clouds lifted, a little green shoot on the trunk of the Chiku Tree greeted me. 😊

Spring indeed is the beginning of all things and the starting from zero. When we don’t hanker after what we don’t have or what used to be ours, Spring happens in us. 🙏

A Dragon & Two Rabbits welcome Spring. (22-1-23)

First Outing of 2023

3–1-23

Posing with Year of the Rabbit CNY decor. Both of us were born in the Year of Rabbit and have been friends since for nearly 40 years.

Yesterday we repeated our favourite pre-celebration ritual of vegetarian meal, temple visits and decoration shopping in the Fortune Centre area. The last time we could do so maskless & free, was in 2020.

At the vegetarian cafe where we ordered longevity noodle. My lunar birthday fell on 1 Jan 2023 this year.

In 20 days’ time the Lunar New Year will be upon us.

It was good to see the old folks up and about at the vegetarian cafe. They were happily taking food orders and heartily conveying their choices to the kitchen.

The evening puja at Sri Krishnan Temple had started as we walked by. The aroma of incense offering and intermittent peal of brass temple bell lifted our spirit.

A moment of calm amidst the aromas of incense and peal of the prayer bells.

Lord Hanuman watches over us as we pose for a picture at the beautiful Sri Krishnan Temple.

At the Kwan Im Thong Hood Cho Temple (Goddess of Mercy), devotees were quietly praying outside the closed temple gates as dusk fell.

A few steps ahead, we chanced upon a shop called “Good Neighbour,” that appeared to be only selling household goods. As we ventured further in, an array of chinese new year decors in shades of vermillion & carmine greeted our eyes.

Blessings and Prosperity are in our hands.

Even though it was near closing time, the staff and cashier remained hospitable to browsers and handled each customer’s enquiry good-naturedly.

The young man at the cashier counter code switched effortlessly among English, Mandarin, Malay and Hokkien depending on the language being used to address him.

“When beautiful people talk to me nicely, I will speak clearly too,” he shot back cheerfully when we expressed amazement at the accuracy of his Hokkien pronunciation.

After he had helped us take a picture with the Year of the Hare (Rabbit) decor, he respectfully wished the two of us elderly Rabbits good health and many years of new year jaunting to come.

With the multilingual and good natured Malaysian boy. We named him Golden Lion.

When my friend wished him the blessings of good employment & kind employer for all round prosperity, the carefree boy with studded ears and golden streaks in his hair listened intently & bowed lightly.

Our first day outing of 2023 came to a sweet close as we stopped for local ice cream wrapped in bread. Above us the nearly full moon shone.

Freedom is eating local ice cream wrapped in bread under the open evening sky.

Family Tree

3-2-22

One of our black cats used to climb on these branches and increased his endearment quotient with my first & second uncle one million times.

My dad grafted this Chiku Tree, and my grandpa attended to her while she was taking root.

Come Lunar New Year, my youngest uncle prunes her to renew her, and my mother and her sisters dress her in red khata and red lanterns to celebrate Life.

Being in the backyard & surrounded by forgotten articles have not diminished the Chiku Tree’s significance in our family one bit. .

Over the years this Tree has given many of her fruits, enough for the birds and humans to enjoy. There is no conflict. Cats file their claws on her trunk & branches. There is no complaint.

On New Year’s day, my brother pointed out the budding shoots that were emerging from the nodes on branches.

I sat under her newly trimmed branches to speak to my dad and my grandparents, and to thank the Chiku Tree for staying alive so that our family members may gather under her numerous loving arms year after year.

The peace found under a tree is available to everyone regardless of economic status.

A Sweet Reunion

2-2-2022

First Tutee and his uncle dropped by with Nasi Lemak today to wish me Happy Chinese New Year.

First Tutee is now nearly 11 years old, as tall as me and seeing Ollie for the first time since 2020.

Pleased that Ollie still remembered him, and that the scene outside the window where he used to sit to practise his spelling and writing, had remained unchanged, he gushed shyly about spotting his childhood sweets on my dining table.

First Tutee’s childhood sweets, White Rabbit.

I asked him to help himself to the White Rabbit Milk Candy pieces. I had prepared a new bag of them for him to bring home later on.

As he unwrapped the candy, he mentioned several times that White Rabbits were his favourite childhood sweets and that he was also born in the Year of the Rabbit.

First Tutee’s delight at seeing Ollie and recalling the names of Hakim, Kitty & China Black who have since passed on, his smiling at the sweets of his childhood and feeling right at ease in a space where he started his preparation to enter primary school showed me a reunion doesn’t always have to revolve around a big meal.

Food & drinks aside, a reunion is also about returning to the people & place that make us feel supported.

Same cane chairs, different occupiers. First Tutee is now going on 11. (2-2-22)

And if reunions are meant to evoke memories to embolden us to move forward, then it is wise that during that encounter we refrain from fishing for details in someone else’s personal life unless they are offered on their own accord.

Going home for reunions is such a big deal across cultures & evokes many conflicting emotions in some. May each reunion be a time of reconciliation and mutual support like the one that took place with First Tutee today.

Lunar New Year Ease

02-02-2022

Over the years visiting the temple of my childhood on the first day of Lunar New Year has gained significance for me.

With the painted temple guardian since I was 5. (1-2-22)

The familiar aroma of incense, dancing flames from red candles, bold calligraphy in red or gold welcome me.

And despite their silence, the temple guardians painted on red doors tell me I’m home.

With the other painted temple guardian. (1-2-22)

Relating to things is easier than relating to people for me because the former encourages contemplation while the latter depends on listening skills of both parties.

Greeting the Tiger deities on the New Year of the Tiger. (1-2-22)

With people, I have to tread cautiously lest any comment or question on my part sow the seed of discord or open a floodgate of criticisms and complaints.

My brother took this picture of me standing under the Chiku Tree planted by our late dad. The tree is still going strong because it’s being cared for by many all these years. (1-2-22)

Perhaps that is one of the reasons why taking pictures to capture moments of affection whether it’s with a door, a tree or a human being mean so much to me.

My cousin Michelle and I took our first picture at this door when she was just 8 years old. For the past few years we had been doing this obligatory Chinese New Year pose. I hope we can keep taking pictures to capture this moment of affection between 2 cousins from different generations for as long as possible. (1-2-22)

Doorways to Wholeness

24 Feb 2021 (Day 13 of CNY)

“May your paths be smooth,” says the chinese blessing. These red temple door panels are more than 100 years old. My brother and I used to take turns to lock up the doors when the temple visiting hours ended.

I love taking pictures with doors and gates. They are symbols of invitation and transition.

Many years ago in a cab turning into Clementi Ave 6 on my way to work, I spotted a homeless dog lingering at the back gate of Park West Condominium.

I saw much longing in the way the animal tilted his/her head at the slip gate, as if hoping for someone to open it to let him/her in. I might be projecting my own need to belong on the dog. But till this day I continue to send prayers of comfort to the dog whenever my cab exits at Ave 6.

For as long as I remember, I rarely enter or exit a doorway mindlessly. In my childhood, like many kids, I could sense energy at doorways. I was a fairly sociable kid, but there were instances I felt great unease & reluctance to enter the homes of perfectly fine people.

“May you meet Happiness when you exit this door,” the chinese blessing says.

The only doorways I could enter with ease then were the ones leading into temples. I took and still take great delight in lifting one leg after another to cross over the raised temple threshold （门槛）that separates the secular world from the spiritual world.

Perhaps in sacred spaces of worship at some temples, churches and mosques, I feel complete as I am.

A photograph that captures a moment between 20 Chinese New Years for my young cousin and I. She has taken on the duty of photographing CNY moments ever since she acquired her own camera.

To be able to stand at the temple doors of my childhood year after year for 50 plus years, and feel its centering energy calling back all the fragments of my life is a blessing I’ve never taken for granted.

So may I take this chance to wish all friends and sentient beings, their very own special doors to wholeness & healing. 🙏

This picture of my cousin and I is very special to me because the photographer is my brother’s son. When my nephew was born, my sister-in-law invited me to name their child. That was 23 years ago. And this is the very door where my brother (the photographer’s dad) and I played at in our childhood. 😊

吉星高照 (ji xing gao zhao)

May the rays of the auspicious star shine brightly upon you.

18 Feb 2021 (Day 7 of Ox Year)

My affinity with auspicious Chinese sayings started in the temple days of my childhood half a century ago.

I did my English homework on the very table that my maternal grandpa wrote out words of blessings for people and for the gods.

It is always a delight to see this ancient tradition of displaying sacred words in black ink on vermillion papers alive in the modern homes of friends who are educated in the English medium.

So in the spirit of heritage, and in honour of our South East Asian birthplaces, may the aspiration of this beautiful calligraphy come true for you and all sentient beings.

🌈🙏🐾