There are no mistakes

21.12.21

Sometime in September I decided to dedicate prayers of healing to all sentient beings, instead of letting anxieties consume me when reading updates on Covid-19.

The string of blue lapis lazuli beads which tracks my prayers came from a former student who had bought the mala online “by mistake” a few years back.

My practice soon got me interested in books related to the Medicine Buddha.

Since 2011, I’ve called my trips to Nepal , “Medicine Journeys,” in honour of the modest collection of relief supplies we could carry to help people who are helping street animals there.

This November while scanning the book shelves at a friend’s place, my gaze landed on the last row where a book title, “In Search of the Medicine Buddha – A Himalayan Journey,” called out to me.

In chapter 1 of the book, I was greeted by a picture of the Boudha Stupa! And the first sentence went, “The Great Stupa of Boudhanath rises like a wish-fulfilling jewel in the eastern Kathmandu Valley.” 🙏

Following that, names & landmarks leapt off the pages at me as if to give me hugs! Asan Tol, Langtang, Terai, Swayamambu, Buranilkantha (Budanilkantha) Rhododendron, Bakhtapur and many familiar words assured me that I haven’t lost touch with the country.

A raw cut rose quartz given to me recently resembles the outline of Nepal.

Like my former student who gave me his lapis lazuli mala, some kind of “mistake” was at play in the purchase of this book as well.

Seeing my interest, my friend decided to let me have his book in exchange for a donation to be decided by me to an animal shelter of my choice. So on the full moon day that just passed I did just that in his name.

As we mark the Solstice today and give thanks for what has turned out right for us, may we also be able to accept wishes unfulfilled, because sometimes what we consider a mistake could turn out to be a great help to others.

Feeding the Heart

16 Dec 2021

Before opening the cans of cat food, I make a short prayer of good health & freedom from illness for the shelter animals at the Metta Cats & Dogs Sanctuary.

The mundane “click” of a can opening is magic to the cats’ ears. Very quickly, a choir of meows will accompany me as my food trolley approaches.

The younger cats even scale the wire mesh of their enclosure to try to meet me at eye level. The older ones pace at the door, waiting for their gourmet lunch.

This sweet being just wants to head bum you. (Metta Cats and Dog Sanctuary, Singapore)

I think the feline song & dance food ritual also blesses the people who donate food to shelter animals.

As I lock the safety gate behind me and unlock the inner gate to enter each enclosure with food offerings, eyes of labradorite, amber gold, citrine yellow and green agate follow me.

This citrine-eyed beauty just wants to sit close to you. She doesn’t need you to feed or pat her. (Metta Cats and Dogs Sanctuary, Singapore)

When plates of food are placed before them, many cats do not immediately start eating. Instead they will walk around their plates gingerly to sniff & study the content before feeding.

The nervous ones have to be coaxed before they will eat, much like how we will encourage a shy child at the orphanage or a lonely grandpa in a nursing home during meal times.

In every 3-4 cats, there will be at least one begging to be picked up and cuddled before he or she will get on with the business of filling the stomach.

It is hard to look away when a cat stands on her hind legs, places her paw on your knee and looks you in the eye. She needs more than food.

So even when you don’t wish to keep the others waiting, and you’re physically aching from all that bending, you’ll still pick this one up & hug her close to feed her heart.

A Dog’s Influence

8 Dec 2021

The son of my former neighbour who lived one unit below us in our old block used to stop by our door to pat Shoya on his way home from school.

Shoya wagging his tail at my parents’ home as my mom prepares for prayers to the earth god on chinese new year eve.

Now as a young working adult, after having finished his polytechnic studies, and served in the army, he recently adopted a dog from a local shelter.

Handsome dog, Nugget, reminds his adopter of Shoya.

He told me his nearly 8 year old adoptee reminded him of Shoya. They had met when he was volunteering. He wanted to give the shelter boy a taste of home like how Shoya found a home with me.

When he was still in primary school, this young man would ask me all sorts of questions about dog breed, ownership, licensing rules etc

Today is the 7th year of Shoya’s passing in 2014.

Recently I saw the young man gently guiding his handsome dog to step into the lift with him.

Looking back it humbles me to know that just by sitting quietly at the threshold to welcome a boy who passed by, Shoya was sowing the seed of a home for a future dog in need.
❤️🙏

Shoya and I at our old block. I hope one day we will meet again. He passed on in Dec 2014 when I was in Thailand. I didn’t have a chance to say “Goodbye”. In hindsight I think maybe he didn’t want to say goodbye.

The Poh Piah Parties On!

6 Dec 2021

Holding my homecooked “poh piah” aka spring roll or Chinese burrito after 40 plus years.

“Poh Piah”, is a wrap filled with julienned vegetables. This Chinese burrito is usually served only on special occasions because of the labour intensive prep work behind it.

Every family has its own secret spring roll recipe reflecting its ancestral lineage, dialect and most of all, the matriarch’s personality.

Once a Filipino student described the ingredients in her mom’s “poh piah” which led me to ask if her forefathers were from Kinmen Island. She checked with her people and they confirmed it.

Last year, before social distancing rules got complicated, I had the fortune to be at a “poh piah party” hosted by a friend’s mom. Hers was peranakan style, complete with kueh pei ti. My friend’s dad personally drove to Joo Jiat to pick up handmade poh piah skin/wrap and pei ti cups to hold the precious & time sensitive ingredients.

Looking at the elaborate spread of ingredients and utensils, you realise this is not simply about eating, but it’s also about being part of a love story enfolding right at the table.

Last month at Souperstar, I found the humble spring roll repackaged and marketed as food-on-the-go.

Souperstar gives the traditional spring roll (poh piah) a trendy twist with its colourful wrapper.

I ordered the traditional one out of nostalgia, and made a mental note NOT TO COMPARE it with the ones made by my friend’s mom or my kinmen grandma.

I took a bite and felt vry satisfied as the familiar mix of minced garlic, sambal chilli, & sweet sauce on shredded turnip and assorted condiments danced in my mouth.

When I complimented the service staff for their delicious vegetable wrap, she declared with pride,” 我们的薄饼料是手切的!” (transl: our ingredients are hand cut).

The honour of being part of something made by hand as opposed to machine made was evident in her voice & smile.

With meal gatherings near impossible these days, my heart fills with gratitude each time I look at these pictures.

My friend’s dad drove to Joo Jiat Rd to pick up handmade poh piah wraps/ skins for our party.

And now I’m ever thankful to Souperstar’s business acumen & creativity to ensure that the poh piah parties on, even if it’s just for one person dining. 🙏😄

Olfactory Healing

18 Nov 2021

Fire turning sage leaves into ephemeral beauty of healing and comfort.

When we were children, my Kinmen grandma had the practice of waving smokes from burning sandal wood towards us.

My brother and I in our clean pyjamas would stand obediently facing her as the comforting aromas filled the space. We did not choke nor feel suffocated.

As a result, juniper incense makes me feel at home in Nepal.

The caregiver of the animal shelter gives me the chance to make a burning sage offering for the resident cats and dogs whenever I’m there.

As I move about the shelter systematically & wave the sage smokes towards each refugee animal and offer words of blessings and aspirations of finding good homes, a number of them will start gathering around me.

Old lady carrying old lady: Hoonie aka Divina & me.

At such a moment I sometimes feel I’m my grandma and the animals are my brothers and me. 😊

At a recent visit, one elderly dog perked up when I passed the sage smoke over her head. Alexi is 16 and feeling disorientated. She used to be the first animal to toddle towards me and place her head below my palm to take in the sage blessings. After that she and one of her cat sidekicks would follow me around as I moved from enclosure to enclosure, as if to assure everyone of my benevolent intentions.

That day after the blessing, HK helped Alexi put on her wheels and took her to walk the shelter grounds like in the old days.

Perhaps despite Alexi’s aging form and neurological issues, the sage smoke reminds her that all is not lost.

However, olfactory memories can hurt too.

Adeline Yen Mah of “Chinese Cinderalla,” couldn’t bear the fragrance of magnolia flowers. In her childhood she had to bury her only pet chick whom she had named PLT ( Precious Little Treasure) under the Magnolia Tree after it was killed by her father’s german shepherd.

It is my wish that no children or anyone will ever have to hold such tragic olfactory associations. And for those who do, may they be guided to transform traumas to peace.

And may all cherished olfactory memories heal & comfort us when time renders all other senses unreliable.

Alexi used to be the first to come for sage smoke blessing when she could walk on her own. The sage smoke perks her up & gives her the strength to put on her wheels so that she can inspect her beloved shelter. ❤️

Threading Through Terrors

11 November 2021

Seeing colourful friendship bands from Nepal transports me to my childhood days of watching my grandmother roll coloured cotton threads into necklaces and anklets for babies in our village near the Singapore River.

Parents of restless babies, or babies with no appetites would come to our verandah to ask my grandma to make a thread necklace or anklet for their child.

Apparently her hand rolled cotton accessories worked like a charm because babies’ mood and appetite improved once they started wearing them.

I have no idea who taught my grandma to make these things or how they came to be associated with auspiciousness & protection for babies & children.

After all, my grandmother’s personal life was far from auspicious. At 7 years old, a change of family fortune sent her sailing from Kinmen Island to Singapore to be raised as my grandfather’s future bride. She never saw her own parents again and would spend her whole life pining for her childhood home.

An aerial shot of my grandma’s city of Houpu on Kinmen Island where she was born.

At the age of 26, my grandma lost her husband and her two little daughters to a lightning mishap. Her last child who was my dad was only 8 month old then.

Overnight, by “an act of God” as lightning strikes are categorised in insurance claims , my grandmother became a widow and a single mother.

She laboured at a factory shelling prawns to provide for her in-laws and son. Her gnarled fingers bore witness to her contact with the unbearably icy water that would also give her a lifetime of aches and pains.

Later on the bank where she kept her hard earned money would go bankrupt and her first grandchild who was me, would contract childhood poliomyelitis.

So by the above accounts, my grandmother was an incredibly unlucky woman. Logically, she should be shunned and babies shouldn’t be wearing anything her hands had touched.

Yet parents regularly dropped by our home to seek my grandmother’s advice or ask reverently for a piece of her cotton threads to soothe their sickly child.

Perhaps ironically, my grandma’s incredible ability to absorb terrible losses and misfortunes, and still lived to produce beautiful embroideries for wedding couples and cotton anklets for babies, have given her the status of a lucky charm. 😊

And because my grandmother refused to be defeated by the bad luck in her life, her only grand daughter whom she constantly worried about because of her handicap had the opportunity to speak at an event to honour women brilliance where she was seated at the table with women leaders, including Singapore’s first female president.

Because my grandmother did not give in to bad luck, but pressed on to give the best life she knew to my dad, I had the opportunity to speak at an event to promote women brilliance & share a table with women leaders, including Singapore’s first female president.

24 October

24 October 2021
(19th day of 9th Lunar Month)

20 years ago on this day, I removed a puppy that had been kept in a junkyard along a defunct railway track and took him home.

I named the junkyard puppy, Shoya, and took him home.

That puppy lived for 15 years, gave me the courage to live alone and opened my eyes to the plight of street animals.

Shoya waiting to see his first vet, Dr Simms.

I named him Shoya 壽雅 meaning to live long & be gracious.

He gained his angel wings 7 years ago, but not a day goes by without his happy face crossing my mind. ❤️😊

Because of him I dared to venture into abandoned places to feed homeless dogs, walk in dim alleys to locate lost or injured cats and intervene in potentially abusive behaviour towards animals and people.

Feeding & befriending Margo in Jurong Lake Park before she found her forever loving home.

“Do one thing every day that scares you,” or versions of it has appeared on self improvement books, speeches & songs etc. I think taking Shoya home was the beginning of that for me.

With the late Andy of Street Dog Care in Nepal. I see my Shoya in every dog I meet and I just want to give him or her the best I can.

Turning 21

22 Oct 2021

My younger nephew turns 21 today.

Every birthday, regardless of age, is to be cherished. Celebrated in big ways or small, observing the occasion is an act of gratitude, not a gauge of one’s popularity.

It’s amazing that between showing him how to hold a cat properly when he was 7 to looking at his compositions when he was 16 and discussing internship options for his studies just recently, 21 years have gone by just like that!

So this morning I sent a text to the boy who has brought nothing but smiles to his mom & dad good health, kind heart and wise mind as he steps into adulthood to exercise his rights and responsibilities.

Showing gratitude to mom at Edusave Award.

Intentional Giving

27 Sep 2021

Handstamped envelopes & cards for my tutees taking their first national exam (PSLE).

In 3 days’ time 12-year-old primary school children across Singapore will be sitting for their Primary School Leaving Exam (PSLE).

Yesterday was my final English practice with the exam candidates. A few of them had worked with me since last year.

Towards the end of the session, I told them I had prepared a well wishing gift for each of them.

“I still have the friendship band you gave me last year,” the boy who tied the handwoven fabric to his key chain said proudly on ZOOM. Another told me that the gift from Nepal that had travelled 3000 KM is always in his pencil case.

I had given them the friendship band from Nepal at the beginning of last year when they were in Primary 5. I had wished for these children to be hardy and resourceful like the people and land where their gifts came from.

This time I selected decorative paper clips as part of the farewell gift for my tutees. Enclosed with a card in a handstamped envelope I wish the children peace & joy, and the ability to hold their knowledge with ease for their own benefit, and to benefit others.

Doraemon, the cat from the future to accompany the kids taking their exam.

Rabbit Lantern for Mid-Autumn

20 Sep 2021

The rabbit lantern of my childhood is alive & well. Pic source: shanghai.com

Of all the lanterns that were bought for me in my childhood, I remember the rabbit lantern best for the following reasons:

Firstly, my dad bought it. Secondly I was born in the year of the hare. Thirdly, its frame was wrapped in shredded white crepe paper to simulate fur. Fourthly, and most importantly, the whole lantern was set ablaze as soon as the candle that was meant to light it from within tilted, causing fire to meet paper.

Did the wire holding the candle in place not do its job? Or was my dad too clumsy in the lighting ceremony?

You can imagine the shock & pain of a 5 year old seeing her beloved rabbit lantern which she had been hugging all afternoon going up in flames and turning into ashes in seconds.

Me at the age where a paper lantern rabbit was my whole world. (1960s)

I was inconsolable. My young dad was traumatised.

In the mid-autumn festivals that followed, he would buy only battery operated lanterns for my brother and I. And no more crepe paper rabbits!

This evening I was pleasantly surprised to find that the lantern design that I loved half a century ago still exists!

The current model now has wheels, presumably for greater stability to minimise accidents like mine.

Come tomorrow night, I’m sure somewhere in some homes celebrating mid-autumn, paper lanterns will still catch fire and go up in flames.

There will be tears over the destruction & loss of a much loved and perhaps even irreplaceable design, but that shall not keep us from seeking solutions to continue the celebration.