Today is New Year’s Day. It also marks the end of the mourning period for my oldest cat, Oliver. He passed on 49 days ago at age 20.
In Buddhist beliefs, the soul of the deceased is reborn by the 49th day.
I hope one day I will see all my pets again. This is the first time in 25 years that I do not have an animal in my home.
28-12-23
“Please give Pema a hug for me!” My friend, Sharonne, texted when my trip to Nepal was finalised. Pema is the name of her sponsored shelter dog.
Pema means Lotus Flower in Tibetan. Although rooted in mud, the Lotus rises from its murky surroundings without carrying a trace of dirt.
Hence, the Lotus in eastern spirituality has become a symbol of rising above challenges while remaining free from defilements.
At our recent shelter visit to Street Dog Care, we were greeted by dogs that embodied the spirit of the Lotus.
Despite having suffered from human abuse and neglect, they came prancing towards us like we were their best friends.
To avoid getting knocked over by wave after wave of canine affection, I had to quickly sit on a little mound of soil upon entering the shelter.
Dancing at our feet in anticipation, each dog was vying for the chance to pull us into their earthy embrace.
Laughing humans, smiling dogs and swirling dust … what an absolute chaos but oh so delightful!
Rocky had an acid wound that was deep & red, but he offered his face and looked at me with the kindest eyes as I spoke to him. Could this dog be anymore aggressive as his abuser claimed?
Then there was one who pedalled frantically on two front legs to welcome us. He was probably a survivor of motor traffic or birth defect. Marcus quickly went over to receive his greetings to show the beige angel that he was not overlooked.
We couldn’t finish walking the length of the shelter without getting greeted, kissed or hugged by dogs.
Rough sleeping on the streets and not having ready access to cleaning did not defile the purity of these canine beings one bit.
On our ride back from the shelter in our little taxi, I was beaming from ear to ear. Mud splattered and in my down jacket punctured by canine attempts to hug me, I felt cleansed of all sadness by the Lotuses in the dog shelter.
26-12-23 (Boxing Day)
One Christmas Eve many years ago, I passed by 3 or 4 dogs seeking shelter from the on off day long rain under the void deck of abandoned flats.
By the time I bought dog food and aluminium trays from the supermarket to go to their aid, the dogs had disappeared.
A slight panic descended as darkness deepened in the deserted premise where I stood. Held down by trays of opened canned food, there was not much I could do. The drizzle was also gathering force.
“Miss Ong, what are you doing here?”
I looked up to see two smiling boys. They introduced themselves as SJI boys.
Despite having no memory of seeing them in school, I told them what I was trying to do.
Without hesitation, they took the food offerings from me, and headed to the bus stop where they said they saw the dogs.
After they returned from their act of kindness where the dogs gobbled up everything in a flash, the boys and I held hands in the rain and gave thanks.
Those were the days of pre-social media. I had scant knowledge of helping homeless animals.
And had I let my physical condition, the inclement weather, and the darkness convince me to ignore the dogs’ hunger, I wouldn’t have met these two boys whom I believe to be angels in disguise. 😊❤️
And as the years pile on, the seemingly mundane, “Miss Ong, what are you doing Here?” has become a question of transcendental importance to me.
So in the spirit of Boxing Day as we put away present wrappers, and tidy up our surroundings, here’s wishing everyone increasing clarity to what we’re doing with our life & gifts. 🙏
19-12-23
In my youth December meant holiday jobs to make some money for personal outings & school supplies.
There was always some anxieties whether my limp would be an issue with the employer or labour laws.
December in my late teens & early twenties meant carolling rehearsals and admiring well dressed people who had invited us to sing in their beautiful homes on Christmas Eve.
Only in my 30s, December became a time of looking inward at who I really am. Living with 12 cats & 1 dog assures me that I am home. There’s no need to go outside to seek amusement or approval.
After my dog passed on in December 2014, and my cats slowly left me one by one, December becomes a time to rest & remininsce.
And whenever I get the chance to visit Boudha Stupa, I bring my animals with me. In my walks, I thank them for taking on animal forms to teach me what it means to be human.
This December as I stood still by windows & on terraces, I witnessed wedding celebrations in Budanilkantha, an engagement party in Nagarkot, cultural performances and devotional practices in Boudha.
In the midst of music, singing & chanting my spirit lifted as my animals & I received the auspicious vibes generated by these celebrations.
December is truly an ending & also a beginning. 🙏😊
16 November 2023
My 20-year-old cat, Oliver died on the 50th day of the passing of his buddy, Emmanuel. Emmanuel was 19.
Through their lives, these 2 cats have given me 39 years’ worth of companionship and teachings on living & dying.
Because they can’t talk, I learn to listen to their needs by watching their eyes, facial expressions and body language.
Because they can’t talk, and can’t defend themselves verbally, I learn to listen to myself before my judgement becomes my reality.
And because they can’t talk, I learn to make supplications on their behalf.
The late Lama Zopa Rinpoche taught that animals don’t just come to us for food & shelter.
Indeed.
As Emmanuel needed home treatment involving needles that I fear and my stiff fingers are not of much help, I started listening to the Medicine Buddha Mantra to overcome fear and steady my hands.
As Oliver liked to stay on my lap to listen to devotional chanting or singing, I learned to be still like him and let the words sink in. This was also how my longest living cat left his body.
Until last year, Oliver & Emmanuel had never fallen ill. Unwell animals disguise their pains & injuries to avoid evoking the predatory instincts of the healthy ones. But I also believe my cats endured their illnesses so that I may evolve spiritually.
The quiet in my flat now seems to hold the mantras & music we have listened together over the years.
So on Oliver and Emmanuel’s behalf I wish to thank everyone who has ever smiled at or said kind words to those who cannot talk. In a broken world, any speech made with the intention to heal is sacred to the listener.
Life ends, but blessings bestowed are forever.
Thank you, friends and all. ❤️🙏
4-10-23
Oct 4 is the Feast Day of St Francis of Assisi and World Animal Day.
The stories & prayers of St Francis where he mediated on behalf of a wolf and addressed all natural elements as brothers & sisters resonated deeply with me.
Through him I learnt that for good to manifest, every intention needs to come from a place of peace & humility, not judgement.
Since 2007, I’ve been trying to observe 4 Oct by doing something special related to him & animals.
Today I feel blessed to spend time at an animal shelter and to light butter lamps at a tibetan buddhist temple.
As the day draws to a close and with Krishna Das’ chants filling up my living space, may I return this favour that has been so generously bestowed on me, by wishing everyone the Peace of St Francis of Assisi and Kindness to Self & All Animal Beings. ❤️🙏😊
11-10-23
Yesterday as the Oct 10 or 10/10 discounts on various online shopping platforms raged on, I found my interest to acquire more displaced by an urgency to discard.
As I gave thanks for the leaves that formed a mandala 2 full moons ago which had since shrivelled up and become brittle, I bade goodbye to aspects of my disposition that have kept my heart small and my mind fragile.
I bade goodbye to pettiness, so that I may be freed from fault finding.
I bade goodbye to perfection, so that I may be freed from fear.
I bade goodbye to self-righteousness so that I may be freed from ignorance.
Perhaps the glorious goldening of leaves and their dramatic shedding at this time of the year are gestures from a very benevolent universe to ease the deaths of personal habitual patterns that are hindering our ascension.
14 Sep 2023
Today was my first visit to Syed Alwi Road since 2019. The pandemic and lockdown seem such distant memories. How quickly 4 years just passed like that!
At Mustaffa Centre, I saw the circular enameled plates of my childhood. All the way to our late teens, my brother & I had gathered around it to make pink & red dumplings of glutinous rice flour every year.
In my friend’s home, it was a platter on which his mom assembled her Nasi Ambeng ingredients for communal dining.
It is amazing how an ordinary household item links cultures and evokes nostalgia.
Today we also had our fill of pani puris, channa puris & papad masala, and TWO servings of masala tea. Indian food is also my comfort food. It reminds me of my neighbour, Asha, who created unlimited supply of thosai, curries, murukus and snacks from her single burner kerosene stove for us kids.
Perhaps in the face of volatile politics, fickle human dynamics and unpredictable climate, we find solace in memories of people who had loved us without expectations, in humble utensils and affordable snacks that have withstood the test of time.
12 Sep 2023
In my childhood, I spent hours pottering among plants. I stuck the wooden stems of paper flowers into soil and believed they would become real flowers if I could just focus. I sometimes got scolded for removing offering decorations from the altar to put them in dirt. 😄
In my youth, flowers assured me that I was accepted & appreciated.
Now in old age, flowers remind me to always carry the Sun in my heart, & challenge me to bloom my best regardless of how much time that’s left.
Yesterday all the yellows, reds & golds descended in my home through the kindness of people I’ve known for a long long time.
So I felt very compelled to dress up for the flowers and take some pictures to honour them and their givers.
May the blessings of flowers open our heart & mind, for our good and the good of others. 😊🙏
6 Sep 2023
My first copy of “The Tibetan Book of Living & Dying,” came from Borders the Bookshop at Wheelock Place. I bought it out of curiosity.
I had what I called “reader’s block,” and gave the book away in 2012. My inability or refusal to accept then that life ends despite our best efforts probably kept me from receiving the guidance in the book.
Over the years, the passing of 10 cats and 1 dog in my care, and the gruesome deaths of cherished community cats from dog attacks have eroded my state of denial. Death is just round the corner.
And with Emmanuel & Oliver’s deteriorating health, I’ll be witnessing death for the 11th & 12th time.
They are my longest living cats. I need to be better prepared for their passing so as to do justice to their companionship of 18 years.
So last week I ordered a copy of “The Tibetan Book of Living & Dying,” after assessing my receptivity to it via Libby APP.
Today as First Tutee and Granduncle came to see Oliver and pray over him, the book also arrived. 🙏❤️😊
So every thing has its timing. What we cannot understand or refuse to understand will make sense at some point. And friends who live in our thoughts will appear at the right time when needed.
And I cannot ask for a better alignment of intention, needs and spiritual aid like the one I had today. 🙏🪔
Lisa Ong 