Yesterday I completed a recommendation letter for a young girl applying for a summer programme in one of the Ivy League universities. Given her impressive academic credentials & balanced disposition , I think she’ll be accepted regardless of what I wrote.
Nonetheless, when I recalled the limited options available to girls & women of my grandmother’s generation, I wrote that letter with extra care & gratitude for this young girl who was born a 100 years after my grandmother.
This matriarch is in her 80s. She shares the same surname as my grandmother. She’s been through war, hidden in bunkers, raised 10 children and now continues to host friends and visitors in her 400 year old ancestral home. Her well kept wedding picture taken when she was 17 is a testament of her tenderness and tenacity. (Kinmen Island 2019)
So my wish on International Women’s Day is for all female children to be raised fairly & firmly, so that they can determine the trajectory of their lives with tenderness & tenacity.
For it is easier to build a well-adjusted child, than to fix a broken adult.
This precious little girl stands proudly in her school uniform. I was once her age too. (Nepal, 2013)
First Tutee and his uncle meet Ollie for the first time in 2 years today. (2-2-2022)
First Tutee and his uncle dropped by with Nasi Lemak today to wish me Happy Chinese New Year.
First Tutee is now nearly 11 years old, as tall as me and seeing Ollie for the first time since 2020.
Pleased that Ollie still remembered him, and that the scene outside the window where he used to sit to practise his spelling and writing, had remained unchanged, he gushed shyly about spotting his childhood sweets on my dining table.
First Tutee’s childhood sweets, White Rabbit.
I asked him to help himself to the White Rabbit Milk Candy pieces. I had prepared a new bag of them for him to bring home later on.
As he unwrapped the candy, he mentioned several times that White Rabbits were his favourite childhood sweets and that he was also born in the Year of the Rabbit.
First Tutee’s delight at seeing Ollie and recalling the names of Hakim, Kitty & China Black who have since passed on, his smiling at the sweets of his childhood and feeling right at ease in a space where he started his preparation to enter primary school showed me a reunion doesn’t always have to revolve around a big meal.
First Tutee with Kitty in 2018.
Food & drinks aside, a reunion is also about returning to the people & place that make us feel supported.
Same cane chairs, different occupiers. First Tutee is now going on 11. (2-2-22)
And if reunions are meant to evoke memories to embolden us to move forward, then it is wise that during that encounter we refrain from fishing for details in someone else’s personal life unless they are offered on their own accord.
Going home for reunions is such a big deal across cultures & evokes many conflicting emotions in some. May each reunion be a time of reconciliation and mutual support like the one that took place with First Tutee today.
Over the years visiting the temple of my childhood on the first day of Lunar New Year has gained significance for me.
With the painted temple guardian since I was 5. (1-2-22)
The familiar aroma of incense, dancing flames from red candles, bold calligraphy in red or gold welcome me.
And despite their silence, the temple guardians painted on red doors tell me I’m home.
With the other painted temple guardian. (1-2-22)
Relating to things is easier than relating to people for me because the former encourages contemplation while the latter depends on listening skills of both parties.
Greeting the Tiger deities on the New Year of the Tiger. (1-2-22)
With people, I have to tread cautiously lest any comment or question on my part sow the seed of discord or open a floodgate of criticisms and complaints.
My brother took this picture of me standing under the Chiku Tree planted by our late dad. The tree is still going strong because it’s being cared for by many all these years. (1-2-22)
Perhaps that is one of the reasons why taking pictures to capture moments of affection whether it’s with a door, a tree or a human being mean so much to me.
My cousin Michelle and I took our first picture at this door when she was just 8 years old. For the past few years we had been doing this obligatory Chinese New Year pose. I hope we can keep taking pictures to capture this moment of affection between 2 cousins from different generations for as long as possible. (1-2-22)
Getting in and out of a vehicle for me require a certain level of coordination & focus.
One day I hailed a cab along the road. When the cab driver slowed down for me, the bus driver behind us sounded the horn while I tried to get onto the cab as swiftly as possible.
In the calm cocoon of his seat, the thin & bespectacled driver with his praying mantis liked arms must have picked up my panic of not being fast enough and getting in the way of the bus.
“Miss, please take your time and get onto my cab safely,” the cab driver alerted me authoritatively even as the horn continued to blare.
As he drove on, he continued, “We all have our jobs to do. Your job is to get on my cab safely. My job is to take you to your destination safely. If the bus driver can’t wait & decides to blast his horn it is his right to do so. And maybe he’s in a bad mood. But you don’t have to let the sound make you frighten & lose your balance, and I musn’t drive recklessly because I’m irritated by the driver.”
Last week the young boys at the tuition centre asked me if I knew who The Rock was. It was their way of checking if someone of their grandmother’s generation knew anything about their interests.
“Know Your Role!” – The Rock ( Dwayne Johnson)
To their amusement, I not only could tell them The Rock’s real name but also put on one of his signature poses. One boy chortled admiringly when I bellowed The Rock’s famous slogan , “Know Your Role!” 😂
Recalling The Rock’s, “Know Your Role,” brought back memories of the cab driver’s insightful lesson on what doing our job, fulfilling responsibilities & expressing our rights can mean.
So regardless of how long it takes or how hard it is, if it’s a path that we’ve chosen and a role we’ve taken on, we must play it out faithfully, even if someone else’s role is to specialise in derailing us by placing obstacles in our way.
Birthday gifts from my 78 year old mother on my 58th birthday.
My mother was 20 years old when I was born. She is now 78 years old.
This morning she dropped by to give me a red packet and 2 red eggs to wish me happy birthday. According to the lunar calendar, today is my Chinese birthday.
Besides the red eggs, my mother also gave me a plant.
I took a few pictures of the hand dyed eggs and gave thanks for my mother who is hale & hearty even as I turn 58.
So here’s to many more hand dyed eggs to come, as I wish my mother and all mothers a happy & healthy life.
The rainbow introduces children to colours and students to science. In turbulent times, the rainbow is a symbol of promise, hope, equality and continuation of love.
I love Singapore’s founding father’s speech where he exhorted us to follow that rainbow and find our pot of gold.
But my favourite rainbow is found in the “Song of the Windhorse” by Venerable Sangharaksita.
“I am the Windhorse! I am thought at its clearest Emotion at its noblest, Energy at its most abundant. I am Reverence. I am Friendliness. I am JOY. Plunging or soaring, I leave behind me A rainbow track.”
Last night I asked the new moon to strengthen our mind so that our thoughts & emotions may have the clarity for us to act wisely & compassionately.
And the Windhorse must have heard my prayer too. 😊
Last night’s amethyst mandala offering to the new moon below the windhorse prayer flags. 🙏
It had been raining all day and by 4pm on New Year’s Eve I was still clueless as to how my mandala display to mark the last evening of 2021 should look like. So Iike my cats I decided to take a nap.
Then I dreamt I was in a dark alley and dared not walk because the ground was wet & slimy. Just as I was about to backtrack, a friend came by and cheerfully offered me a lamp. The fire which he held in his hand danced merrily and I felt my heart warming instantly. When I woke up, I kind of knew what my mandala for New Year’s Eve should look like.
So on this final evening of 2021, I found exactly 8 butter lamp holders to match the 8 points of the “OM” bearing lotus to herald the blossoming of new beginnings.
It is my wish that as 2021 draws to a close may the challenges we have endured the past year not make us fearful or bitter, but cause greater courage, higher wisdom & deeper compassion for ourselves and all sentient beings to flower as we cross into 2022.
New Year’s Eve Mandala of 8 pointed lotus bearing Om surrounded by 8 butterlamps. 2 days later, a friend would contribute $55 to round up contribution to $800 for street animals in Nepal.
Today I offered the last spoonful of the incense powder purchased at Boudha in 2017. This concoction of herbal wonder was unceremoniously scooped and dropped into a plastic bag for a few rupees.
The last spoonful of juniper incense bought from Boudha in 2017.
Having limited mobility & lacking confidence in my online shopping capabilities have strengthened my appreciation of resources. I learn to use every thing sparingly regardless of its price or how it comes to me. For me a bottle of soya sauce from the local supermarket has the same status as a bottle of truffle oil from a specialised store. Both are precious.
Boudha Stupa on the full moon day of Dec 2017. I took this picture without making any special effort and it turned out so beautiful. Each time I look at it I feel Buddha smiling at me.
Today’s incense from Nepal is the last of its lot that I personally bought.
Despite its age, it seems to have gained potency as its wafting fragrance triggers many pleasant thoughts & memories.
As I watched Fire transform the juniper into healing aromas through the dancing smoke, I sent wishes of goodwill to all sentient beings. Among which was just as we aspire to abundance, may we also be able to accept scarcity for its hidden blessings.
Incense from a little shop facing the Boudha Stupa. I gave some away and kept a couple of packets for my own use. Yesterday was the last spoonful from this lot bought in 2017.
Lisa Ong 